Alameda County

Vicky and Cynthia met in September 1994 and quickly fell in love. Vicky is an administrative law judge with California Public Utilities Commission and a board member of the Transgender Law Center. Cynthia is the news editor of the Bay Area Reporter, one of the country’s premier LGBT newspapers. They live together in Oakland with their Welsh corgi Nicky and three cats, Slider, Puff and Espresso.

Vicky and Cynthia was married on February 12, 2004 in San Francisco but that marriage was later invalidated by the California Supreme Court, at which point Vicky began volunteering as transgender outreach director for Marriage Equality USA. The couple was subsequently registered as domestic partners with the state. When asked about getting married, Vicky said “we are thrilled to be married in Oakland on the first day of California’s recognition of marriage equality.

On Monday, June 16th in Oakland’s City Hall, Vicky and Cynthia were married. Mayor Ronald V. Dellums performed the ceremony, which was witnessed by Congresswoman Barbara Lee (D-Oakland).

When asked about that experience, Moe states “when you get your license nullified and voided out, it makes you somehow want to get more active. So we started showing up to the county clerk's office every year, requesting a license. Somehow, it was even more humiliating to be turned down in Alameda County, where I've lived all my life. I mean, you live here, you pay property taxes. Actually, it was as I was mailing my property tax check that it really hit me — it's all about being fair."

On Monday, June 16th, the couple went into the Alameda County Clerk’s office to request and then receives a marriage license. They were then married in Oakland City Hall by Mayor Ron Dellums and witnessed by Representative Barbara Lee, family and friends. “Oakland is our home and we were very proud and honored be married by our mayor and in our hometown.”

In 2000, the couple registered as California domestic partners. But Frank states “on June 20th, we were married at the Alameda County Clerk’s office surrounded by friends and family.” Eugene exclaims “now I can finally call Frank my husband. It’s exciting!”

Mauricio and Jason have been together since 1997. The couple met and fell in love while living in the Silver Lake district of Los Angeles and then in 1999, they moved to the San Francisco Bay Area and in 2002, they purchased a home in the Millsmont area of Oakland.

When asked about their family, Mauricio smiles saying “a major member of our family is named Cocoa Chanel. She is a beautiful chocolate Labrador. We are avid fashion aficionados, hence her name.”

In a ceremony conducted by Mayor Ron Dellums, Jason and Mauricio were the 11th couple married on June 16, 2008. When Mayor Dellums announced by the power granted to me by the state of California, I now pronounce you married under the law, the couple cried. Jason says “It’s an emotional moment, I am overjoyed and it is our pride and pleasure to be a part of this historic civil rights movement. But we really look forward to the time when racism and discrimination against same-sex marriage will all be but a fleeting memory.”

On June 16th, Ruth and Diane were married in a special ceremony with Mayor Ron Dellums officiating. Diane describes “we were so excited to finally get married and this ceremony was particularly special. We love Oakland for its diversity and were so honored to be part of this historic ceremony.”

As Jason and David describe, we were married on June 16, 2008, along with 17 other same-sex couples that were the “most racially, sexually, spiritually, and economically divers couples one could imagine.” The couples reflected the diversity of Oakland. Mayor Ron Dellums officiated and Congresswoman Barbara Lee acted as their witness. As Jason tells “once we were married, I did the Jewish thing. Instead of smashing a glass, I held up a recyclable plastic bottle aloft before placing it on the ground. My gentile husband, wearing his preposterously expensive shoes, Bruno and Walter, gave Walter the cue to smash the bottle. As I raised my fist into the air, a previously unknown Jewish contingent in the balcony began chanting “Mazel Tov” and clapping while others cheered.” The couple described this as an amazing day that they will never forget.

In reflecting on the moment, Jason says “so here we are. Our marriage is recognized, not only in California, but also in New York and Massachusetts. Other states are sure to follow, as other countries will go down the same road as Canada, Spain, South Africa, the Netherlands, Belgium and most recently Norway. As stories of marriage by California’s gay and lesbian couples multiply, it will surely help our vital efforts heading toward November’s right-wing effort to snatch our marriages away. We have surely moved one more step closer to full equality. As we proclaimed back in New York’s first Gay Pride Parade in 1970, “Gay Love is Gay Strength.”

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Alpine County

2000 Census data estimates there are two same-sex couples living in California's tiny Alpine County. To date, MEUSA hasn't gotten any reports of same-sex couples marrying in this county, but stay tuned.

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Amador County

When San Diego missionary Ronald Brock parked his truck in front of the Amador County Clerk’s office with his “Stop Supporting Sodomy” and “Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman” he wasn’t welcome by everyone in town.

MaryAnn, a Pine Grove resident, said “it just threw me…he’s an American, hopefully a voting citizen. He has an entitlement, but what he’s portraying is not the way committed gay couples live. They’re not evil. They’re children of God. We’re all created in God’s image.”

Larry commented “do you want to live in a county that legalizes discrimination? Despite the recent California Supreme Court decision that denying same-sex couples the right to marry is unconstitutional, efforts are underway throughout the country to take away rights from same-sex couples. We are at a turning point in our nation's history and I'm hoping you'll join me in standing up against discrimination.”

Todd commented “The real tyranny over the gay marriage issue comes from those who oppose it. Their bigotry, which is ever so similar to those who opposed equal rights for women and blacks, is what fundamentally counters the democratic process. Homosexuals pay taxes, vote, and serve in the armed forces. Therefore, they should be granted equal rights in a free country. Otherwise, it's taxation without representation.”

Jennifer said “I am a lesbian…it’s a disgrace to see that people would rather protest against gay marriage than to fix their own marriage. I know a lot of gay people in this county and we all deserve the right to marry. It’s not all about the paper u know. Should we sit in the back of the bus too?”

On June 17, 2008, the Amador County Clerk reported four couples came in to get marriage licenses but wouldn’t comment if any were same-sex couples.

(Source: Bethany Monk, Amador Ledger Dispatch)

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Butte County

Pennisue and Wendy met in November 1999 at my birthday celebration. While the couple started dating that weekend, their jobs got in the way until May 2000 when Pennisue described “the slow and steady fires started building. We started living together in January 2001 in a house that Wendy built. We committed together that the most important thing in our relationship was to be ourselves and we have done that. The love between us continues to grow which is amazing. We now have a large family who we have to our house every Sunday. Our three children and eight grandchildren are one of the best blessings in our lives.”

When asked why marriage matters, Pennisue says you should ask our kids. “Our kids say that they have never seen us as happy as on the day of our wedding. There are so many emotions we are experiencing since the moment we committed our lives and futures to each other. We both agreed that we now feel more secure in our relationship and don't try to protect ourselves from each other. Having the fact that we want to build our lives together recognized by the world is an amazing feeling. We feel like we are now a part of everyone else and not a member of a prejudiced group. There is now no shame about our relationship and we can tell everyone else about our marriage with pride. This feeling is beyond words. I have been telling everyone and the fact that I can do that is amazing to me. We now feel that we are seen as a united entity for our lifetimes. Wow!”

Wendy describes their wedding day “Our son preformed the ceremony while our other son prayed for us. We were married in our back yard amongst all the flowers. Butte County, who gave us the marriage license, was very kind. Even though they had said they wouldn't perform any ceremonies they were very helpful and made my son a deputy for a day to perform the ceremony. It was a wonderful day that I will remember forever.”

Michelle and Cappi met through mutual friends. While Cappi describes she never let friends set her up, this time was different. As Cappi describes she headed to a meeting at Chico an hour early. “There was no one there but one lady setting out books and goodies on a table. She turned to me and said hello with the biggest smile and a twinkle in her eyes. I said PLEASE LET IT BE HERE…and it was.” Michelle is disabled and an artist and musician, Cappi is disabled and a students and artist.

When asked why marriage matters, Michelle explains “marriage to us means we are finally recognized as citizens. We no longer are hidden or have to draw the drapes to sit together. I can now have you close to me and no one can take you from me. Marriage is a way for me to show my ultimate love to Cappi. I feel that marriage makes our relationship stronger and closer.”

When asked about the wedding day, Cappi describes “we went into the County Clerk’s office and paid for our license. Our officiant was there and married us right in the atrium. We took the papers back into the office and walked out with our marriage certificate. The feeling was overwhelming to realize that we were really married. We were domestic partners for four years and it didn’t feel like this!!!”

Calaveras County

Russell and Robert met in December, 1980 and it was love at first sight. Robert walked up to Russell and asked "Can You Dance?" Russell said yes, they danced to Billy Idol's "White Wedding," and they’ve been together ever since.

When asked about marriage, the couple says “marriage is perhaps the greatest most challenging adventure of human relationships. No ceremony can create a marriage, only all of us (community, family friends and neighbors) can do that through love and patience, dedication and perseverance, talking and listening, helping and supporting, believing in one another, tenderness and laughter; learning to forgive, learning to appreciate the differences, and by learning to make the important things matter. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice we make to stand together as partners in marriage.”

On June 17th, Russell and Robert were married on the steps of the Calaveras County Courthouse. When they arrived, they marched hand-in-hand to the County Recorder's office. The couple requested and received the documentation necessary to finally cement a relationship that has lasted 28 years and the reality of the moments in their lives leading up to this very particular moment was beginning to set in and be recognized. They began to fill out the form together – Russell was to be Party A and Robert was Party B. When the Clerk asked their parent’s name, Robert got choked up and tears started to form at the corner of his eye as he remembered his mother passing away when he was seven. Robert said "this is an important time for him to reflect back and give some thought and honor in this very personal moment paying homage to a loving memory that was now being coupled with a cherished dream." As their officiant, friends and family gathered in the County Clerk's office, the room filled with love and recognition for their love. The paperwork concluded, with only a few scant pauses necessary for hearts to reflect upon the past, making way for two hearts charting a course into the unknown, and hopefully happiest, future.

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Colusa County

On June 17, 2008, the Colusa County Clerk reported that no same-sex couples requested marriage licenses that day but she expect at least a few to appear at the front of her counter seeking a marriage license.

( Source: Eric Bailey, Los Angeles Times)

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Contra Costa County

Maryann and Cynthia met in New Orleans and while living there, they had a daughter who is now 26. In 1989, the couple was featured on 20/20 in an episode called "Have Two Moms."

When asked why marriage matters, Maryann says "on our 25th anniversary, we were married in their Unitarian Church but now, we will proudly be married on the first day our great State acknowledges the legitimacy of our marriage. We had a fabulous Church wedding, but getting a civil marriage license – that is a legal recognition we have been waiting for."

On June 17th, the couple was married with their Unitarian ministers and their daughter present. In describing the ceremony, Cynthia says "we renewed our vows that we had spoken a few years ago, this time with the realization and joy that the state of California recognizes our union. It means the world to us and our family."

Steve and John met in 1980 at a gym, they dated for a few months and at one point decided they weren’t ready for more. They had one final dinner at the Cliff House in San Francisco. Ten years later, John found Steve’s number and called him. They returned to the Cliff House, had a 2 ½ hour dinner and the rest is history. The couple now lives in a single-story Concord home, with a “welcome” sign and American flag hanging near the door. Visitors to the home are greeted by Precious and Prince, their two miniature longhaired dachshunds. John is a costume designer for youth and community theater companies and Steve, the current County Clerk, was once the mayor of Concord.

“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride,” jokes Steve who is the Contra Costa County Clerk. On June 17, 2008, he and John got married after 18 years together. Steve continued “I’ve waited all this time to be able to walk into my own office and stand in line and pay for a license and have a ceremony. It’s a big deal.”

The next day, Steve was back at work marrying other couples in the county. Steve remarked one of the couples that came in that day was Beverly (89) and Doreen (80) who lives in an El Cerrito assisted living facility. Steve commented “these two ladies were thrilled to know their wedding was going to be announced in their facility’s newspaper. Couples like these shouldn’t have to have waited so long to marry, I’m so glad they can now.”<

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Del Norte County

In Del Norte County, according to County Clerk Vicki Frazier, two same-sex couples applied for marriage licenses on Tuesday. Once the license comes back signed by the two parties, the person who performed the ceremony and two witnesses, it is legal. “The only thing that has changed is that we can issue to same-sex couples," Frazier said and that the applications say “party one” and “party two” instead of "bride" and "groom."

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El Dorado County

Anthony and Matthew met through a mutual friend when on weekend vacation to Lake Tahoe. After that weekend, the couple spoke or saw one another every day and in a few months, they had moved in together. Two years later, they opened their own business, Tony Matthews, a home entertainment and cooking story. Anthony continues to work in that capacity and Matthew is now the Executive Director for The Center for Violence Free Relationships.

When asked why marriage matters, the couple responded that marriage is different. Matthew explains "Anthony and I understand on a very deep and personal level the commitment and the love that we share one with the other. We know that we have a unique bond and a wonderful well-balanced relationship. While our families and friends were accepting of us, they never really knew how to affirm our relationship in the same manner that others in our families and social circle received. Whether purposeful or not, our union was viewed in a different light. Our relationship just wasn't treated the same. We didn't understand fully the importance of being married. Marriage has had a profound impact on our relationship. Even though we didn't think it possible, we have an even greater love and respect for each other. Our relationship has been elevated to a different and more meaningful level. Our friends and families now have a touchstone or commonality with which to frame discussions about our relationships. We feel more connected to each other, more accepted by our community, and more in love then we thought possible."

When asked about their wedding day, Anthony responds "we were the first couple in our county to receive a marriage license. Our ceremony was at our friend's home and we had asked Mike (a Republican, Vietnam Veteran, and retired Fire Chief from Orange County) to perform our ceremony. Upon arrival at their home, we noticed that Mike had removed his American and POW/MIA flags from the flagpole and had replaced them with a Rainbow flag in our honor. He also proclaimed that every June 17th he will fly the rainbow flag." Matthew continues "friends and family spoke at our ceremony and we were moved by each of their words, but particularly Anthony's father (a traditional Catholic who struggled on whether or not to attend). When his turn came to speak, he read from the Bible a story about Jonathan and David who shared a love that surpassed the love that exists between a man and a woman. He said that story put love into his heart and he was grateful to be with us as we celebrated our love. There wasn't a dry eye underneath that oak tree."

Nancy and Eileen met at a friend’s Christmas party thirteen years ago. Nancy remembers telling her friend “have more parties and make sure to invite Eileen.” The couple became casual and then good friends as they helped one another over the years handle health problems and homophobia of being gay and fundamentalist Christians.

When asked why marriage matters, Nancy goes back to describe their experience getting married in San Francisco in 2004. “We stood in line with other couples hoping to get married before the office closed. We were one of the last couples married that day. A stranger and his sister officiated and witnessed our vows. As City Hall emptied, we sat crying for joy on the marble steps of the rotunda. A tired young man approached us, ‘Will you do me t he honor of accepting these roses as a wedding present?’ He had just flown in from Texas , my home state, to distribute flowers to newlyweds. We were so happy and then in August, our marriages were declared ‘null and void’ by the California Supreme Court. But we clung onto hope that one day we would enjoy the right to legally marry and on June 19, 2008 we were.”

Eileen continues “we arrived at the El Dorado County Clerk’s office expecting protestors and a cool, begrudging office staff but instead there were only a few protestors outside and inside the County Clerk’s office was warm and welcoming and we were surrounded by acquaintances and some strangers that cheered us on and snapped pictures. In reading their vows, Nancy said “Today, we have come full circle. We are surrounded by friends who have always affirmed us as family. Our hearts are overflowing. Before God and all of you, we once again vow to love and cherish each other. Yes, you and we are making history today. But more importantly, we are all strengthening our wonderful, diverse, quirky community, and we are strengthening the institution of marriage.”

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Fresno County

The Fresno residents, Alicia and Tinasha met at a card game and then their first date was dinner and a movie. They remember little about the movie because they spent more time getting to know one another.

When asked why marriage matters to them, Alicia says “we want to be able to feel the same way everyone else does about the people they’re with.” On June 17, 2008, the first day same-sex couples could marry, their friend Cheryl got up at 4am to get them a place in line. According to Cheryl “they have the coolest love. With them, there is always laughter, always.” And when they were pronounced married, Cheryl shouted out “woo-hoo! It’s about time!!!”

(Source: John Koopman, San Francisco Chronicle)

Jason and Randy met through an internet site. They arranged a date and then started seeing one another regularly. Randy lived in a different city, but shortly thereafter moved to Clovis to live with Scott. The couple has wanted to marry for some time; each year, they would go to the Fresno County Clerk Office to respectfully request and be denied a marriage license. When the California Supreme Court decision determined marriage is a fundamental right no one should be denied, Jason said “we are absolutely looking forward to getting married. We are going down early on the morning of June 17th with a lot of other Fresno couples to get marriage licenses on that first day.”

And that’s what they did. Randy describes “to me, this day is more personal than political. Jason is the one who’s been fighting for marriage equality. I’ve always been by his side and that’s where I want to stay. I can’t imagine living without him and now, he’s stuck.” And Jason “It’s something I dreamed about but wasn’t sure I’d see it in Fresno. It means a lot to me to be considered equal citizens like everyone else and by getting married, we’ve been able to show our commitment and love for each other. I’m so happy and I’ll never forget this day for the rest of my life.”

(Source: John Koopman, San Francisco Chronicle)

Robin and Katherine are both teachers, love to travel, enjoy good food, and relish spending time playing with their children who are five and two years old. Robin moved from Mississippi to California in 1996 so she could attend Cal State University Fresno. She fell in love with Kathy the first time she heard her voice.

When asked why marriage mattered, Robin explains “we have put so much thought and conversation in to this decision of getting married and feel that the message we want to send to our children and to the society that is watching this history in the making is simple. We do not want one day to pass, once it is legal for gay and lesbian couples to marry, without publicly acknowledging and openly accepting this fundamental right that we believe so strongly is deserved and desired by our family.”

The couple described their preparation for their wedding day. Katherine says “we looked for people who could volunteer to help marry couples on Tuesday (the first day of the marriages). Ironically, two people who volunteered were a heterosexual couple I had married years ago. At that time, I remember they asked me to marry them to point out the hypocrisy of the situation where I could marry them but I wasn’t allowed to marry the person I loved.” Robin continues “at that point in time, Kathy and I had been together longer than that couple. It seems appropriate that now they may help us get married just as Kathy married them years ago. Separate is never equal, we all know that.”

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Glenn County

Roy lives in Glen County and supports the freedom to marry for same-sex couples. He is a disabled Army vet and minister with the Church of Spiritual Humanism who can legally perform wedding ceremonies. As of June 14, 2008, Roy said he already had one same-sex couple scheduled to marry the next week. According to Ray, he says “we’ve got issues and problems in the world that are far more concerning than people wanting to be united. They’re not hurting nobody.”

(Source: Cecilia Vega, San Francisco Chronicle)

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Humboldt County

Jessica and Michelle met in November 1999. Michelle is a compassionate and loving registered nurse. Jessica is a devoted child, youth and family advocate. The couple has two children, Carissa and Tosh.

When asked about their relationship, Michelle said "our love is very real and very true. It should be celebrated, honored and recognized as any true love should be. We are good people, doing good things in our local community and in our world."

The couple is getting married on August 9th. Jessica says "we are really looking forward to that day. Our ceremony will take place on the beautiful Trinity River with our closes friends and family."

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Imperial County

On June 17, 2008, Bruce and Bob were the first same-sex couple married in Imperial County at the County Courthouse in El Centro. Superior Court Judge Donal Donnelly officiated. According to the County Clerk Dolores Provencio, two other licenses were taken out that day but no ceremonies were scheduled to be performed in the office.

(Source: KXO Radio)

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Inyo County

MEUSA hasn’t yet received any reports of same-sex couples marrying in Inyo County. But according to the Inyo County Clerk “four people work here and we’re all fine with it.” As of the end of June 17, 2008, the County Clerk indicated she hadn’t issued any marriage licenses to same-sex couples but she did receive a couple calls from couples inquiring.

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Kern County

Lori and Whitney have known each other about nine years, but only found a mutual love about two years ago. Lori is a bookkeeper and Whitney teaches high school, but their real passion is civil rights. The couple just bought a house in beautiful Bakersfield and hope they will grow old together in their Bakersfield’s home!

When asked about marriage, Whitney replies “marriage just means we are the same as everyone else; no better, no worse. We will have the same rights and the same responsibilities.”

When asked in advance of their June 17th wedding day, Whitney explains “God, we worked so hard to get to our wedding day! It is already bringing our families together, including my divorced parents. People are coming from all over, driving and flying in so they can share our joy on this day. We feel very blessed to have family that really loves us!”

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Kings County

Anna and Wendi met in 2003 and on June 17, 2008, they were the first same-sex couple married in Kings County. In describing the experience, Anna says “there is nothing sweeter than exchanging marriage vows in our own hometown.”

When asked why marriage matters, Wendi says “for us, marriage is a symbol of our enduring love for one another. We’ve been waiting a long time for this. We will turn in turn in our marriage license right away so I can get my name changed immediately.”

The couple’s ceremony was held in the courtyard of the central Hanford apartment complex where they live and they were surrounded by friends and family. Anna described their experience “there’s been a lot of frustrations not being able to marry. Today, I’m excited. I thought this day would never come.”

In addition to Anna and Wendi, two other same-sex couples from Hanford and one from Lemoore got their marriage license.

(Source: Eiji Yamashita, Hanford Sentinel)

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Lake County

Shadow is a certified nursing aid in the Meadowood Nursing Center and Jessica is a massage therapist who teaches at LifeStream Massage School in Napa. In 2001, the two met and after living together for a year in Lucerne, the couple knew that they wanted to get married. Jessica explains “we were considering going to Canada, but we didn’t want to have to stay there in order to be legally married.” The news of the California Supreme Court ruling that marriage licenses could be issued to same-sex couples was “welcomed and long awaited.”

Surrounded by a small group of friends and family members, Jessica and Shadow were married in the Lake County Board of Supervisors’ Chambers. Jessica explains “we were going to get married in Fort Bragg, but the county clerk was so sweet. I’m so excited! Now I can take Shadow’s last name and get coverage under her health plan.” After the couple received their marriage license, they headed to Fort Brag for a reception with family and friends.

(Source: Tiffany Revelle, Record Bee)

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Los Angeles County

Robin and Diane met decades ago and was friends for over 25 years before they became a couple. Every Valentine’s Day, the couple would go to the Beverly Hills Courthouse to respectfully request and be denied a marriage license. In 2004, Robin and Diane, along with another Los Angeles couple (Troy and Phillip) became plaintiffs in the marriage case that called into question the constitutional issues of denying same-sex couples the freedom to marry. On June 16, 2008, Robin and Diane headed into the Beverly Hills Courthouse to request as marriage license and this time, they made it all the way to the counter. Robin said “we’ve never gotten this far before” and the Clerk responded “well, you have, today.” Asked if they were nervous about this moment, Robin responded “we’re not nervous today. We’ve known each other for 15 years and we love one another.”

And then when the actual ceremony began, it seemed that the couple standing under the huppah began to feel the weight of rejection start to lift. When their Rabbi pronounced them “spouses for life,” Robin broke down, sobbing for joy. Robin responded “it’s taken a long time to hear those words. We just love each other and once the love of every couple getting married showers down throughout California, no one will want to change the Constitution.” On June 17, 2008, Los Angeles County issued 648 marriage licenses and performed 279 wedding ceremonies, well above the daily average of 133 licenses in June.

(Source: Erin Allday, San Francisco Chronicle)

Bill and Kelly met in September 1999, at church. At the time, Bill had spent nearly a year trying to become a single dad through surrogacy. This would have deterred most potential boyfriends. Not Kelly. He had a romantic streak, having always imagined a future for himself with another man and their children. After a year and a half of romance and travel, the couple welcomed their daughter into the world. Four and a half years later, a son joined the family. The children have been the blessing of both men’s lives.

When the California Supreme Court overturned California’s ban on same-sex marriage, declaring that it was unconstitutional and inherently unfair to families like theirs, Bill and Kelly’s children were thrilled, especially their daughter, who had never understood why her friends’ parents could be married but hers could not. The couple immediately began to think about a June 17 wedding, the first possible day they could be married in Los Angeles County. They initially planned on a simple civil ceremony at the registrar’s office, but once the neighbor ladies on their street got wind of that, plans changed. Their tight-knit neighborhood - which besides Bill & Kelly consists entirely of straight families - insisted on helping them plan a wedding at their home.

After taking the kids to the L.A. County Courthouse to pick up their marriage license, Bill took his daughter for a manicure/pedicure while the neighbors readied the house for the 7 o’clock wedding. One neighbor had baked a traditional, 3-tier, buttercream wedding cake, another decorated the house with greens and flowers, another photographed the event, others’ videotaped and ran the kitchen for the reception. The children served as their fathers’ attendants. A family friend who is also an Episcopal priest officiated the ceremony. The grooms restated vows they had made at a religious ceremony at their church in 2001. Only this time they happily substituted the words “lawfully wedded husband.”

In the days following their ceremony, Bill asked Kelly to pick one word to describe how it felt to be married, Kelly thought for a moment, then said, “Real.” He then asked his new husband the same thing. Without hesitation came Bill’s reply: “Safe.” As a family, there has never been a shortage of love in their home. Only now, they finally feel legitimate, legally recognized and protected.

Charles and Brandon met after a date went bad. Charles was on a date with someone he met on Match.com. When Branden saw Charles date march out of the room, Brendon came over to buy him a drink to ease the pain and they’ve been together ever since. In July 2004, the couple exchanged vows and Benden adopted Charles daughter, Judith, and changed his name. They also registered as domestic partners. They did everything they could do to formalize their relationship and thought it was enough, until they saw the California Supreme Court decision that marriage was a fundamental right same-sex couples could no longer be denied. As Charles explains “I read about the decision on my computer and I have to say, I felt almost a physical change. I suddenly became human, just like everyone else. It was an amazing feeling and I called Brenden and asked him to marry me.” Brenden responds “I said yes!”

When asked why marriage mattered, Charles responds “I’ve spent a considerable amount of time thinking about marriage. Judith deserves to have the same married role models that I had in my parents. She is the future. And, especially at her age, being different is the single greatest fear for her. I am glad we did it. It insures her future, and ours as a couple.”

Asked about their wedding day, Brenden responds “we decided to get married in West Hollywood and the County Clerk there treated us with such dignity and respect. Every couple passed under a flower covered arch to get into the auditorium for their license. After you filled out the paperwork and paid the bill, you sat, with all of the couples in the center of the room. With each number called, a couple would rise and walk to the front of the room to get their license and profess that all that was declared on the forms was true. With each couple, as they stood, everyone seated would cheer and applaud them. Now we get to share our anniversary not only with each other as a couple, but with the en tire gay community as a whole. It was an amazing day that I will never forget.”

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Madera County

In Madera County, three same-sex couples (along with three heterosexual couples) were married on June 17th. One of those couples included Joseph and Arsen who have been together 12 years. Joseph, a retired U.S. Army veteran, had his daughter, Bernadette, act as their witness.

(Source: Diana Marcum, Fresno Bee)

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Marin County

Kathryn and Susan met in Santa Cruz at a weekend seminar taught by JoAnne Loulan on "Lesbian Sexuality.” Kathryn describes “I remember it well. It was May 1984 and we followed each other to every workshop flirting here and smiling there. It’s now been over 24 years. We honestly do not know where the time has gone. We have had great times full of smiles, hard times full of therapy, tears, joys, surprises and our love grows deeper.”

When asked why marriage matters to them, Susan remembers back to her experience getting married in San Francisco in 2004. “I stood out in the cold and the rain to marry the woman I had already spent 20 years with; I wanted people to know I loved Kathryn so much that I would seal that love with a license and a kiss. But I never expected to feel the way I did after getting married in City Hall in 2004. It sounds corny and the last thing I would say but it was as if something grabbed me and sent me into a heightened state of bliss. And when I returned to my office, my boss and everyone gave me hugs. I was on a different plane. I don't think anything could have compared to the height of emotion I felt at that time we were married except the disappointment I felt on the day we were annulled and because of that, I wanted to put off our wedding this time until after the November election. However, you should have seen the disappointment in Kathryn's eyes when I told her I wanted to wait. After 24 years together, we’ve learned to open our hearts to each other with ‘honor, love, and respect’ and getting married when Kathryn wanted to seemed the best way for me to demonstrate those qualities.”

When asked about their wedding, Susan continues “so we will be married on July 18th and no possible annulment or whatever may happen in November can blur the image in my mind of my lover's face when I said ‘I'd love to marry you.....again.’”

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Mariposa County

Viktor and Troy met through a mutual friend and they had an instant connection. Eleven years later, they had a child, Tyler, who was born February 2003. As Troy describes "he is truly the greatest blessing in our lives."

When asked about marriage, Viktor says "we've always wanted to get married but never thought it would come to be. We got our domestic partnership in 2002 which we were very proud of, but it just never seemed enough." Troy continues "We have always felt that it was our right to marry the person we love, we never thought it would come to be until the California Supreme Court ruled and we were overjoyed to immediately made plans to get married."

"We went to our local Mariposa County Clerk’s office to get our license," said Viktor. "We went to San Francisco Pride with the hopes to find someone to marry us but had heard that no one was performing ceremonies. We were bummed but had hope and then came upon the Marriage Equality USA wedding pavilion. We met Molly and she asked if we had a license and as we said 'yes.' She saw our son, Tyler, and she said 'of course, you will be married today!'" Troy continues "The feeling overwhelmed us and we were all so excited. I have to say, I truly thought it was just a piece of paper but going through the ceremony and having the real marriage license, I understand it means so much more. To hear Molly say at the end of our ceremony 'I now pronounce you LEGALLY MARRIED’ was the best thing I have heard since that nurse said to us 'it's a boy and he’s healthy.'"

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Mendocino County

Theresa and Jennifer first met in Bakersfield, California where Theresa was a cashier in our neighborhood market where Jennifer shopped. But it wasn’t until Jennifer came out in 1992 that they became friends and had their first date on October 29th - a three hour phone call! They moved in together a month later and had their first ceremony on January 7, 1995 and then were married in San Francisco on February 19, 2004. Theresa, a dark room tech and courier, and Jennifer, a social worker supervisor for Mendocino County’s Child Protective Services, were married in Ukiah on June 17, 2008. “We’re getting pretty good at this” Jennifer explains.

When asked why marriage matters, Jennifer responds “when James, our son, saw us married in San Francisco, he said ‘I’m finally legitimate!’ so it matters a great deal to our children. And for us as a couple, we’re constantly fighting for normalcy, to be the same as everyone else, first class citizens. Marriage gets us there.”

Jennifer and Theresa are volunteer chapter leaders for Marriage Equality USA (MEUSA) in Mendocino County; Jennifer is also the Board Secretary for MEUSA. After going to the county clerk’s office year after year to respectfully request and be denied a marriage license, their work paid off when they received a call from their local county clerk. She said “you’ve worked so hard for marriage, would you like to be the first same-sex couple married in our county.” Jennifer describes “WHAT AN HONOR! Of course I said yes! And what started out as a small group for our particular wedding is swelling in numbers and we're finding out that our friends are almost as excited for us as we are.”

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Merced County

Tanya and Traci shared their story on how they first met. Tanya starts “you know how in stories you read about being in a noisy, crowded room and then you see someone and everything fades away. Well, that’s what it was like when I first met Traci. I was playing pool and looked up and there she was, standing out in a crowd. Since that night, we’ve been inseparable.” Traci continues “my family has been supportive, they both accept us and love us. Tanya’s mother is very supportive and her father, while still struggling with our marriage, loves us both. Both our sisters are supportive and our friends couldn’t be happier.”

When asked about why marriage matters, Tanya responds “honestly, at first I didn’t know the difference between marriage and domestic partnerships. I thought it was just a title, but when I read a book on what marriage provides I started to see the differences and why it was important. Marriage isn’t just a title, it’s a binding of love and a chance for equality. For me, marriage is the most sacred thing you can have with someone. It’s committing yourself to that person forever, until death do us part. I would die for Traci and I want to be with her forever. So the opportunity to marry her…I couldn’t have wished for anything else.”

When asked about their pending wedding ceremony, Traci says “our wedding day is going to be small, just close friends, family, and co-workers. We will have it in my mother’s backyard and it will be a picnic. We actually signed our domestic partnership paper on July 14th, so we picked our wedding day of July 12th because everyone could make that date and it would be close to that same anniversary. We’re so excited to think about it…our wedding day is our own special story. It’s OUR day, we get the chance to say I DO and we get to get MARRIED!!!”

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Modoc County

Allison responded to an Advocate article saying “My wedding anniversary will always be June 2, 2001, as that is the day I committed my love to the woman who is my life and my partner. However, we will be in the tiny clerk’s office in rural Modoc County to pick up our marriage license. After years of denial, we will marry - no different from anyone else in dreams or reality. Perhaps then, they will say ‘what’s the big deal?’”

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Mono County

Tony, a Mammoth Lake Planning Commissioner and businessman, and Paul, his partner, was the first couple in the county to request a marriage license. The couple has been active in the county in the past and were the first same-sex partners to receive municipal insurance benefits.

(Source: Bennett Kessler, Sierra Wave)

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Monterey County

In 2006, Adrianne and Sandy met. As Sandy describes “I have been married to her in my heart for a very long time.” The Pacific Grove couple was the first same-sex couple married in Monterey County on June 17, 2008. In all twelve same-sex couples filed for marriage licenses on that day.

Sandy and Adrianne had a brief, casual ceremony in the courtyard outside the Monterey County Clerk’s office. Judy DeRosa, also known as “Little Wing,” presided over the ceremony where she burned white sages and said a closing prayer before announcing “Ladies, you’re married!” With those words, Sandy and Adrianne completed their marriage license and walked out with an official marriage certificate. They were greeted with tearful cheers and embraces from a heterosexual couple who was also getting married that day.

When asked what it felt like to be married, Adrianne responds “this is one of the happiest days of our life! I feel elated! I am thrilled! I feel empowered!”

(Source: Dawn Withers, The Salinas Californian and photo by Richard Green)

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Napa County

On June 17, 2008, nine same-sex couples applied for marriage licenses and the five couples in this photo got married. One of the couples, Deb and Carol, have dubbed themselves the ‘official crusaders of marriage equality in Napa County’ as every year on Valentine’s Day, the couple has respectfully requested and been denied a marriage licenses at the Napa County Recorder’s office. Each time the County Clerk turned them away, they were told once California would recognize marriages for same-sex couples, they would be greeted with open arms. So on June 17th, they were first in line and first out the door with a civil marriage license. Carol left the office saying “what an amazing feeling, nobody can ever, ever, ever take this day away.”

Also joining them were Kim and Karin, together for 21 years and unwilling to wait another day. According to Karin, she said “I never thought this day would come. We’re equal now. We’re just a couple of gals going to get married and it feels really good!”

Happy couples

(Source: Jillian Jones, Napa Register; photo by J.L. Souza)

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Nevada County

Dian and Suzanne met in January 1995. In April 2006, they were married before family and friends and at that time filed a domestic partnership form with the City of Seattle where they lived. When the couple moved back to California, they registered as domestic partners and filled out our new family paperwork.

But on June 17, 2008, they were the first same-sex couple married in Nevada County as they were accompanied by their 6-year old son, Kit, and other friends and family members. Dian says “Finally, we’ve got a piece of paper that everyone knows the meaning of.” Suzanne continues “This represents protection for our family and especially our son, justice, equality, fairness, ease of referring to spouse in conversation. It means the world to us and our family.”

Jim and Charlie met 21 years ago. Jim is the president of an environmental consulting company and testing laboratory and Charlie is a software engineer.

When asked why marriage matters to them, Charlie responds “it gives us equal status. We deserve the same rights as all the other couples in America. No longer does each of us have to carry a legal document allowing us to visit the other if our partner is, for example, in an accident and hospitalized.” Jim continues “someday this whole country will join the other free countries of the world that already have marriage for same-sex couples and allow us to have the same rights as all other Americans in all of the 50 states. Marriage has nothing to do with religion. It is civil contract between two people to share their lives together that provides access to 100s of state laws and more than 1000 federal laws that support the relationships of couples like us.” Charlie adds “furthermore, when we became domestic partners it didn't have the meaning that the word marriage has.”

When asked what it is like getting married, Jim says "I know that my brother, his wife and children didn't come from Virginia and my business friends from London, England for our "domestic partner" signing with the notary public. However, they are coming to our wedding." Charlie concludes “when we went shopping for invitations, flowers, cakes, bands, photographers, venue and so forth we were surprised at how accepting and friendly most of the people were regarding our marriage. In fact, the printer for our invitations wrote a real sweet note on the bill wishing us well.”

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Orange County

Patti and Kathy met during the summer of 1985 and became fast friends. Years of life’s lessons, professional growth and geographic challenges followed when their paths crossed again Christmas of 1996, they fell in love and began their dream of married life.

“It’s been a roller coaster of emotions,” explains Patti. “We became Domestic Partners the minute it became available with the Secretary of State. We knew this wasn’t the same as a true marriage, but it was an important step forward. Then when we witnessed the marriages in San Francisco, we were glued to the news reports and felt this was a moment in history they couldn’t miss.” Kathleen continues “friends warned us about the torrential rain and the long line outside City Hall but we wouldn’t be dissuaded. We arrived in San Francisco on February 18, 2004 at 6:45am; the sky was blue and the sun was shining. Friendships were made as we waited in line to get married and once we had our marriage license in hand, we were met by a gauntlet of cheering well-wishers into the beautiful rotunda of City Hall. It was an amazing experience we will never forget.” Patti continues “but then on August 13, 2004, we heard the California Supreme Court invalidated our marriage license along with the other 4,000 couples that were married and we were reminded again that our fight was not over.”

On June 17, 2008 in Orange County, Kathleen, the Director of Advocacy and Government Relations at the University of California at Irvine and Patti, the Vice President of Sales for Analox Sensor Technology, were married. “We want, deserve, and will forever stand up for is the right to simply be equal. Nothing more, nothing less,” explains Kathy. “We will celebrate with our family and friends on July 5th, 2008 at our home in Laguna Beach, CA.”

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Placer County

Toby and Jean live in Placer County. They spend their days working and shuttling their child to school and music lessons. As a couple, they had the same issues and concerns, hopes and dreams for their family. They were the same as many other couples in their hometown, except they couldn’t marry.

When asked why marriage matters, Jean says “it’s a lot different being married than being a domestic partner. People don’t understand that a domestic partnership is not given the same social status as a marriage. There are a lot of emotional things that go along with that.” Marriage was so important to the couple that they would go to the County Clerk’s office every Valentine’s Day to respectfully request and then be denied a marriage license. Each year, their request was denied…until June 17, 2008 when the couple went into the Placer County Clerk’s office and received a civil marriage license. Toby responds “it’s so exciting and so nice to be told ‘yes.’”

When asked what it felt like to be married, Jean said “simply put, we’re ecstatic!” The couple’s 7-year old daughter, Kalen, was just as excited as she witnessed their marriage. She said “I think everyone should be treated like the person they are. They should have the right to do what they want to do.” Jean and Toby also have 2 foster children: a 1 year old boy and a 2 year old girl whom they hope to adopt.

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Riverside County

In 2001, Gary and Harvey met, they were married in Massachusetts in 2004 but that was nullified because they were from out-of-state. On June 17, 2008, the couple when into the Riverside County Clerk’s office to get married, Gary’s 81 year old mother, Beverly acted as their witness. During their ceremony, their officiant Reverend Jane Quandt of the First Congregational Church of Riverside said “God’s spirit has moved over the land, touched by the hearts of people who have the power to make decisions that affect us all. Why I don’t understand why it took them so long, we are here now. Finally, we are here.”

The couple used the same rings as they had in Massachusetts. Harvey struggled to get his ring on his finger “four years of good food” as the crowd laughed. Then Reverend Quandt said “It’s my privilege to pronounce you married partners for life.” And with that, they walked away with a civil marriage license.
As Harvey reflected, he said “we are no longer second-class citizens. We have the rights of everyone else.” And they weren’t along, in Riverside County, they issued 98 marriage licenses and performed 43 ceremonies for same-sex couples.

(Source: Press Enterprise and photo by Silva Flores)

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Sacramento County

Ann is a manager for the State of CA, Dept. of Social Services, nearing retirement. Christine is a marriage equality activist and self-employed tech writer. The couple met through a mutual friend and later reconnected when through a 12-Step program. They become good friends, started dating and then eventually moved in together when they began co-parenting. Together, they have raised five children together - Shoshanna Gard, Asia Gard, Jonah Hall, Taybn Allen, Kalie Sanjiyan – and they have four grandchildren – Jacob Hall, Calvin Cortez, Reema Allen and Ronin Allen. Christine says “it’s been a helluva ride! We’ve been a family and our hearts have been married for over 22 years – it will be nice to make that legal.”

When asked why marriage matters, Ann says “marriage has a different significance to each of us. I have wanted to have a public ceremony – a statement recognizing our love and our relationship for a very, very long time. I want the recognition and acceptance that most heterosexual married people take for granted. It’s an emotional issue for me.” Christine continues “marriage equality is, bottom line, a civil rights issue - I do not believe it is okay, or right, to offer certain rights, benefits and privileges to some people and to deny the same rights, benefits and privileges to others. For me, this is about justice and equality, basic fairness.”

When asked about their wedding day, Christine says “as soon as we heard about the California Supreme Court decision, we agreed right away that they wanted to get a marriage license as soon as possible in our current home town of Sacramento.” Ann continues “originally we were planning on having the ceremony later, we both want all of our children to be present when we marry, and getting all five children, with their respective partners and children together, in one place at one time is an exercise in military precision!” Christine adds “but then we received word that Mayor Heather Fargo, a strong supporter of marriage equality, wanted to marry couples on the 17th. We made a spur-of-the-moment decision to marry on June 17th and are hoping their children will all be able to make it! At least we know the forecast isn’t for rain. In the 2004 Winter of Love, we stood on-line all night in a storm to get married in San Francisco. This wedding should be much more comfortable!”

Kinna and Ashle met over seven years ago. As Kinna describes “our wedding day was actually in September 2006, before 150 friends and family with a really great party afterward. We look back on that day fondly and with joy in our hearts because that was the day we vowed to love each other for the rest of our lives.” Ashle continues “fast forward to almost two years later and we are astounded and are in awe that we get to say those vows all over again, and we did so with even more love and joy and with two little ones present inside my belly!. Kinna explains “Ashle was so tired from carrying around 50 extra pounds of baby but that morning, we put on our best dresses, received bouquets of flowers from Ashle's parents, my in-laws, and set off for the recorder's office. We saw the protesters on one side of the street but once we made it to the front door, they all seemed to melt away. Our supporters stood beside us, behind us and around us to protect us as we walked inside and to cheer for us as we walked out with our license.” Ashle concludes “it was a special treat that we were married by the Mayor of Sacramento and that many of our friends were in attendance. The day will go down in history, and in our lives, as one of the best days we have ever had!!!”

Note: Ashle and Kinna’s twins will be called Sloane Amara Crocker (meaning immortal warrior) and Quinne Amaya Crocker (meaning exalted queen).

Lonny and Benjamin originally met in Oroville during a Cinco de Mayo party back in 1994 and as they say “the rest is history!” Lonny was born in Oroville and Benjamin was born in the Philippines. They both come from large families who are important in their lives. During the past few years, Lonny has worked with the Sacramento Municipal Utility District and Benjamin has been in various levels of management with credit unions and businesses.

When asked why marriage matters, Benjamin responds “I want people to understand our relationship. At first, Lonny was introduced to our coworkers as my roommate; however, within a matter of months we decided it was silly to pretend, we registered as domestic partners and hyphenated our last names. Ever since, we have been out and proud to our employers and coworkers but it wasn’t the same.”

When the couple decided to get married, they sent a letter to their friends and family sharing their relationship, what they mean to one another, and the frustrations and issues of not being able to marry, joking about the joy of completing separate tax returns for their family. The couple also expressed their feelings about those who have proposed to change the constitution to take their marriage away. In their note, they say “I believe these individuals still have not had the opportunity to place a ‘real’ face to the issue. They do not realize those they are denying this right too are their own friends, family/progeny, coworkers and neighbors. They may mistakenly believe gays are only to be found ‘elsewhere’ other than their own communities.” They conclude their message by saying “we do not feel we are entitled to anything, to do so would be to take for granted our responsibilities and duties as Citizens and members of our community. We do feel we are to be recognized equally,
no more or less, with the same benefits and obligations available to heterosexual-married couples. We hope you continually share our story with others to enlighten and broaden their breadth of understanding as to who is truly affected by limiting others’ civil rights.”

Karen and Celeste met over 12 years ago. As Karen describes “the way my partner and I met is quite funny. Apparently she had a crush on me and had been watching me for a few months and her friends kept telling her to go for it and talk to me but she was extremely shy. The night we met I walked in a local club on Karaoke Night and as soon as I walked in the front door a woman came up and grabbed me by the arm. She started dragging me into one of the bars in the club. I said, "what's going on?” She replied, "my friend Celeste wants to meet you.” The woman dragged me over to Celeste and introduced us.” Karen responds “it worked! We spent the rest of the evening talking and singing Karaoke. It was the beginning of a beautiful, loving relationship. Now, our favorite fun thing to do is going out to sing Karaoke.”

When asked why marriage matters, Karen responds “we're totally committed to each other. We feel that we should be able to make it legal and have the same benefits as straight couples. I'm 12 years older than Celeste and I want to make sure she is taken care of if anything bad were to happen to me. I want Celeste to be able to visit me if I'm in the hospital and make medical decisions for me if I can't. We've wanted to make it legal for a long time but it hasn't been legal until now. We know we are going to be together forever. The bottom line is love is love, no matter who loving who!”

On June 17, 2008, the couple married. As Celeste describes “It was an awesome
day!!!” Karen continues “In fact, I made a sign on big, bright pink poster board saying, "Just Married", Finally...LEGALLY, After 12 years!" I put this sign on the back of my wheelchair, while my wife pulled me with her electric wheelchair. We got nothing but positive comments and congratulations all day long. It was incredible! I thought for sure we would get some bad comments or maybe even have things thrown at us, but not one negative comment all day long...and we even rode the wheelchairs all the way over to the downtown mall in Sacramento.

Blithe and Bridget originally met in summer 1992 while we were in college and then in 1996, they became a couple. As Bridget describes “It had to happen. I was teaching at an alternative high school and Blithe was teaching in a school for homeless children. In 1998, we exchanged rings on a mountaintop in San Juan Bautista. In 1999, we launched a nonprofit and rode our bikes across America with 17 amazing youth, learning a lot about exhaustion, determination, and sweet tea. In 2003, we opened a program serving young homeless parents and their children. That year Blithe became pregnant with our kids when we were surprised at the first ultrasound to find out that 3 babies were on the way. In February 2004, we slept overnight in the drizzle in front of the San Francisco courthouse, and got married the next morning with Blithe insanely pregnant.” Blithe continues “Ella, Grace, and Rose were born in April 2004. Keeping three four year olds and a nonprofit alive is always a bit chaotic and exhausting, but never anything less than crazy meaningful. I will admit that getting the puppy last month was probably going too far. There is a limit to how much pee a person can cope with in a single lifetime.”

When asked why marriage matters, Bridget responds “marriage matters to us because it's a hallmark human experience. Every kid should get to stare at her parent's wedding pictures in wonder. The nature of our California weddings will get tirelessly wrapped into the politics and deconstruction of the Constitution. How romantic…but this momentous event is really about equality and our love. Being legal is the real deal!” Blithe continues “for our children our marriage will confirm our family, and this will be a strong pulse for guiding them and honoring their own lives, careers and marriages one day. How proud they will one day be to look back and know that our family was integral in making gay marriage happen. Our love is legal. What a concept. What liberty!”

The couple was married at the County Clerk 's office in downtown Sacramento . Bridget describes “I recognize the politics infused with this moment. I can’t argue the fact that fitting 15 people into the room of a County Clerk ’s office is not my optimal vision for the big day as we want to get married before November. If the voters and the courts want to keep yanking my marriage out from under me, I'll be damned if not making a moment of it every time. Blithe is someone worth saying "I Do" to at least one hundred times.” As Blithe concludes “It will be a wonderful day. We will go to friends to toast and have dessert afterwards and then put our children to bed. We will set another date (maybe in 6 months) for our wedding ceremony with our family and friends, and eat and dance for two days. Who knows, maybe we’ll even get registered.”

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San Benito County

In 1983, Mike and Rodger met in a local bar. A few weeks after that the couple was seeing each other exclusively, four months later, they moved in together and have been together ever since. As Rodger describes “we just kind of clicked right away. We had a lot of similarities in our lives.” Mike is a San Benito native, he graduated from San Benito High School and during the summer worked at Casa de Fruita. Rodger grew up in the Central Valley, around Visalia. The couple now lives in a Hollister home and they enjoy spending time together and with family that live nearby. Rodger explains “There’s a lot to like about Hollister. People are very friendly and good to us.”

Several years ago, the couple registered as domestic partners but that was never the same as getting married, it wasn’t something to celebrate. But marriage is different. As Mike explains “you know I figured I’d be married (to a woman) by the time I hit thirty. Then I hit thirty, and realized I was never going to get married (because I was gay)…I never thought this would happen in my lifetime.” Rodger responds “but now we can get married.” As the couple describes, being able to marry makes them feel less ostracized by the rest of society. Rodger continues “It’s just a basic human desire to be part of..to be part of the society that you live in.”

The couple is now planning a ceremony. According to Rodger, “one of the reasons of getting married is to kind of profess our love to one another. It isn’t just a legal thing. It’s more of a public commitment – a public statement of love and our friends have been very supportive. Some friends insist they throw us a reception.”

With the pending constitutional amendment that if passed could take their marriage away, as Rodger describes they have decided “its time to put it out there. Time to feel comfortable in your own skin.” Rodger concludes “the more people get used to it and see it around them, the less chance the constitutional measure will pass and I’m hopeful they won’t get enough votes.”

(Source: Jessica Ablamsky, The Pinacle and photo by Nick Lovejoy)

Eugenia and Jymie from Salinas were married in San Benito County on July 17, 2008 (the first day same-sex couples could legally marry in California). According to Eugenia “I’ve waited for years to get married. I just didn’t want to wait another day.”

A family friend was deputized to perform the ceremony which they held at home of Eugenia’s mother. As Jymie continues “it means a lot. It’s a happy day. You see everybody else get married and you’re always stuck. But now we’re not.”

(Source: Kollin Kosmicki, The Free Lance and photo by Nick Lovejoy)

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San Bernardino County

In 2004, Laurie and Allison, Rancho Cucamonga residents, met. As Allison describes, “when we met, I was just smitten. What we have, it’s peaceful.” Laurie adds “it’s ever day. It’s always there.” As they described, they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together, so marriage is really important to them.

On June 17th, the couple arrived at the San Bernardino County Clerk’s office and they were understandably nervous. “An exciting nervous,” Allison explains. On the ride over, Allison had received two calls from her father. As she describes “he told me the day I will see you marry will be as happy as the day you were born. He is so supportive.”

When the couple signed the papers and wrote the check, Laurie said “it makes me want to cry. I just can stop grinning. What a wonderful mix of emotions.” Laurie concluded that to her the freedom to marry is “a matter of fairness. It’s about equal rights. And today, it’s all about joy.” Along with this couple, around 30 other same-sex couples were married that reflected the county’s diversity. Couples that were in their twenties to those who were middle-aged or older, professional workers to those having service jobs, some dressed in tuxedos and others in more casual attire. All walking out of the San Bernardino County Clerk’s office with a civil marriage license and a smile.

(Sources: Mark Petix, Inland Valley Online Register and Robert Rogers, San Bernardino County Sun)

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San Diego County

For Tom and Bob, it was love at first sight 15 years ago when they met in Chicago. Bob was a Marine recruiter and had served in the first Persian Gulf War as an artillery sergeant. Tom was a marketing executive at the headquarters of Andersen Consulting (now called Accenture). A few years later and after Bob left the Marine Corps, the two moved to San Diego which was an area Bob had loved since being stationed at Camp Pendleton. Tom and Bob now are small business owners and are co-founders of the Stonewall Citizens' Patrol which helps provide safety within San Diego's gay neighborhoods. Tom is also a City Commissioner for the City of San Diego as appointed by the Mayor.

Tom and Bob have been activists within the gay community since moving to San Diego. In 2000, Tom was the San Diego County Co-chair to defeat the anti-gay marriage initiative Proposition 22. Although that battle was lost, the two have remained steadfast in fighting for marriage equality. Tom is once again San Diego County Co-chair to defeat the anti-gay marriage initiative Proposition 8 and Bob is on the committee.

Tom and Bob were the first gay couple to be married in San Diego County. Officiating the ceremony was Bob's brother, Jeff, a retired Marine and included Bob's brother, who served in the Army. The evening of their wedding, Tom and Bob held a community-wide wedding reception honoring all couples who had married or filed licenses that first day.

San Diego County issued 230 licenses on June 17th, surpassing its old record of 176 set on Valentine’s Day 2005.

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San Francisco County

Sharon and Amber first met through a mutual friend when we were 19 and 21; a few years later they reconnected and quickly became best friends. Sharon describes “within a few months, we realized that we had fallen in love with each other.” Now the couple lives in Berkeley where Amber is a Physician Assistant and Acupuncturist and Sharon is a Social Worker.

On June 17th, the couple was married in San Francisco. Amber describes, “after our wedding, we were asked, ‘What is so important about the word ‘marriage’?’ After all, same-sex couples can form civil unions or domestic partnerships. So, if it’s all practically the same thing, why do we care so much about the word ‘marriage’?” Sharon continues “the word marriage conveys exactly the type of commitment that we have made to each other. When I say that we are ‘married’, even if people do a double-take, they know exactly what that means. In the highest sense of that word, it means that we have made a commitment to build our lives together. It means that she is not just my friend. Not my cleaning buddy. Not my business partner. When I say that we are married, it means that she is my wife. Proudly, unambiguously, and till death do us part.”

Amber concludes “Our legal wedding day, June 17, 2008, was absolutely amazing. We wore the same lovely white wedding dresses. When we arrived at San Francisco City Hall, we were incredibly touched by the many supportive strangers who came out to give us flowers, wedding cake and blessings. It was the most wonderful moment in the whole world to stand before my beloved, Amber, look deep into each others’ eyes and share our vows to be with each other through sickness and health, through good times and bad.”

Bill and Fernando met while living in Washington D.C. Bill was born and raised in Pennsylvania and Fernando was born and raised in Italy. Bill describes, “in 1999, we registered as California domestic partners the first day it was legal; in 2004, we were married the first day of the weddings at San Francisco City Hall; and in 2008, we were married on the first day and we hope it is the last time.”

When asked why marriage matters, Bill said “people understand marriage. Once when I introduced Fernando as my partner, I was asked what business we were in. The words ‘marriage’ and ‘spouse’ carry a meaning that is commonly understood.”

Mayor Gavin Newsom officiated the ceremony. Fernando says “I’ll never forget it. He cam bounding in and said ‘Where do you want to have the ceremony?" We said that his office was fine. So he ushered us through the door leading to a hallway that ended at his office.” Bill describes “the Mayor had a script of the vows before him. He started with me and I managed to get the I Dos in the right spots and then Fernando did the same. We exchanged rings with me going first again. Then we were declared ‘Spouses for Life.’” Fernando concludes “as we headed out of San Francisco City Hall with our marriage license, people applauded, there was music, it was a really festive atmosphere. It was a fantastic memorable day!”

In 1987, Stuart and John met in San Francisco at a small house party and have shared their lives ever since. They were one of the first ten couples to exchange vows on February 12, 2004 in San Francisco, and they were plaintiffs in the California Marriage Cases decided by the California Supreme Court on May 15, 2008, holding that the state's exclusion of LGBTI couples from marriage violated the state constitution. They are leaders in API Equality and Marriage Equality USA.

When asked why marriage matters, Stuart describes “my mother is Chinese America and my father is Irish/English American, and they were only able to marry in California because the California Supreme Court overturned the state’s ban on interracial couples marrying 60 years ago. It was unfair to deny my parents the freedom to marry, it’s unfair to have denied me and John that same freedom.”

The couple was married on June 17th at San Francisco City Hall. John describes “the moment was magical and wonderful. We exchanged our vows surrounded by our parents, family and friends.” Stuart continues “we would like to express their gratitude to all the LGBTI people and their allies who have come out over the past decades and have worked to secure equality for our community, thereby making their joyous wedding day a reality. We look forward to continuing to work for equality, visibility, and acceptance for LGBTI people in all aspects of our lives.”

Frank and Joe met at the 2000 San Francisco Pride and as Joe describes “we’ve been inseparable ever since. It’s scary how much we have in common and we grow closer every day. We are a typical working-class family – I am a handyman and provide in-home support services and Frank is a union elevator constructor. We support the San Franciscan value that diversity makes for stronger communities.” In 2004, the couples was married in San Francisco's City Hall, attended the first marriages in Massachusetts, and became legally registered California Domestic Partners.

When asked why marriage matters, Joe describes “in abstract, marriage is important to us, because of the societal validation and clearly understood relationship recognition that is given to married couples. As registered domestic partners, Frank’s union denied recognition and inclusion of our family when it came to health care and other relationship protections. So I go without health care and even though I am disabled and then I am disqualified from state Medi-Cal benefits because they consider our joint income and therefore I don’t qualify.” Frank says "It is devastating to me that I can't add my spouse Joe to my health plan, because even now, my union refuses to recognize our relationship. What if something serious happened to Joe? I wouldn't be able to take a leave-of-absence from work to care for him.”

The couple was married on July 17, 2008 in San Francisco City Hall. Joe states “we can’t think of anywhere that we would rather be legally married than in our City Hall in San Francisco, where we were married four years ago. In many ways, our forthcoming wedding ceremony will bring us full circle and provide a feeling of closure, affirmation, unity, and wholeness. We plan to frame and hang both of our marriage certificates side by side.”

Julie and Lynda were introduced by mutual friends in 1998. The couple lives in Pacifica with their two-year old son Dylan. Julie works at Levi Strauss & Company and Lynda, a former music teacher, is a stay at home mom to their son. As Julie describes, “we realized early on in our relationship that we had found something very special in each other. It is hard to put into words enormity of the feeling. We both always wanted to have a wedding, but at first we didn’t even recognize it as a possibility. This was a struggle for us, but despite not being able to have a legally recognized marriage and despite the fear of others’ reactions, we decided we wanted to have a wedding to celebrate our commitment. On August 11, 2001 we had that wedding with about 100 friends and family. At that time, I don’t think it seemed possible to us that we would be getting legally married at any time in the near future.”

In 2004, Lynda heard on the news that same-sex couples were getting married at San Francisco City Hall. Lynda says “I called Julie at work, she rushed home to pick her up and we headed to City Hall. That was Friday, February 13 and we were afraid if we didn’t get there quickly enough it would be stopped and we would miss our opportunity. That experience was incredibly emotional, it’s hard to explain how much joy we felt.” Julie continues “then on May 15, 2008, we went to the steps of the California Supreme Court to wait for the ruling on the marriage cases and we brought Dylan with us. We were so hopeful, I honestly don’t know what we would have done if the ruling had not gone our way. As we stood there we watched the doors, I think we were all in disbelief when people started yelling that we won. Tears ran down our faces- we had to explain to Dylan they were happy tears.”

The couple was married on June 17th. As Julie explains “we are hopeful that our son will not remember a time when we weren’t able to be legally married. We are so incredibly grateful to Mayor Newsom for making this possible for us. He is a hero to our family. It is a huge honor to have him be the one to legally marry us on July 16. We have been married in our hearts for many years, but to finally have the legitimacy and recognition that comes with being able to get married legally, to raise our son in a state where his parents can be legally married like the parents o f his friends and cousins, that means so much to us.”

Salvador and Dean, native Californians, met in San Francisco during the early ‘90s. Salvador moved to San Francisco in 1985 to attend the University of San Francisco, where he graduated in 1988. The couple began dating 14 years ago and the moved in together in January 1995. Salvador worked with Nancy Walker and Harry Britt as an intern, the 1st Mayoral election of Art Agnos and with the late Dick Pabich, and later with the Legal Aide Society of San Francisco. Dean moved to San Francisco in 1988 where he worked at Pacific Bell.

Dean describes their commitment as a couples saying “in 1996 on the top of the Eiffel Tower, I presented Sal with a commitment ring and told Sal that he hoped that they would share many more adventures together. Sky diving in San Diego, plunking in Puerto Rico, kayaking with alligators in Florida, and Scuba diving in Aruba were some of the adventures that Dean and Sal shared over the last 12 years. During that time we also registered as Domestic Partners with the City of San Francisco.”

Salvador continues “we knew we wanted to get married and discussed doing so in Canada. We even discussed getting married in Amsterdam, where Dean’s father was born, but neither option felt right. It seemed only appropriate that they should marry in the place they called home and in the place we met – San Francisco. When the California Supreme Court ruled on gay marriage, we immediately began planning our wedding and we